I’ve gotten into a habit in my life of wanting new clothes when I’m off on a new venture.
New job? Shopping.
Pregnancy? Shopping before I needed it.
New baby at home called for a velour lounge suit (I know you had one too, right?)
Next month I am embarking on a week-long adventure. I am traveling to Vegas with my husband for the SITS Bloggy Boot Camp there and also spending time with my one and only on an one-to-one basis for at least one day.
The day after I come back I am leaving on a jet plane to attend another conference, one I was invited to and promise will talk about later.
Problem is, do I have what I need to wear? or is it, does what I tend to wear fit my vision of what I’m supposed to look like at these places?
I can tell you I’d already trying to figure out where my favorite leopard-print dress will go.
The state of my closet was already on my mind when I read Fadra’s well-times piece on self esteem.
When I’m in an unfamiliar environment, dressing by the numbers eases my stress and gives me one less thing to worry about. But, oh, how I worried as I was packing.
That is me, every single trip, every single blogging event. Any venture to a new place means I have to pack a shield of confidence disguised as a cute dress, something sparkly, something new.
For me, clothes make the woman’s confidence.
I recently got to shoot my friend’s band at the House of Blues, and for a while, when I first walked in, I felt unnerved because my concert staple of a black top, jeans and Chucks did not make me feel as confident as I was 10 years ago, almost 70 pounds ago.
Yeah, I just went there.
Why, because when I met my new doctor yesterday, he typed in words that had not been applied to me- till now.
I had never been a fan of the scale, since it was such a liar in my case, supposedly.
‘But you look great’ I would hear. ‘No, you’re not fat’.
Well, the doc said I was, confirming the little voice in my head.
The same little voice that had whispered in my ear when we first hit HoB.
I hid behind my camera, and it became my weapon, as I rejoiced that other girls looked longingly at the divide I entered between them and whomever they lusted over, practically getting sweated on.
For sure they weren’t jealous of the Forever 21 necklace I was sporting, they were jealous of the accomplishment I had.
Why couldn’t I always remember that? even though I was the only unprofessional shooting, I still had some great art I could hand over as a thank you.
And I remembered standing in front of my closet, agonizing about how I looked in those clothes, considering if I needed something new, even though what I wanted I wouldn’t be able to find since I didn’t own it yet already.
It figures that lately I had been on a shopping spree with my mom, pulling clothes out of my closet as I put them in, giving some of my work clothes away to my favorite Mary Kay consultant.
If they’re cool, if they’re new, I will feel more proud of the way I look.
Even though I am going places because of my accomplishments, going there to use my brain instead of my new black skinnies.
Instead of packing my confidence in my heart, I pack my confidence in a flowered carryall -jeans, color, sparkle, shine.
Does it matter? I mean, beyond the business ideas of going to a conference.
Does it matter that you are dressed well? Or that you are well-spoken and have accomplishment written on your bio. Is it the eye contact? The smile? Or that necklace which is sure to elicit a couple glowing comments.
What is it that should make us confident?
And will I end up using my clothes as a bright and shiny shield of confidence, or will I have to find the same place as I did behind the camera?
I think when you’re confident on the inside, it shines bright on the outside. But, I’m shopping for new clothes for BBC too just to be fair. Ha!
We’ll have to model walk around
Hey honey — I think every woman has felt like you’re feeling at every age and at every size. I’ve been on a Haagan Daz binge the last four days so today I’m watching. Trying to take back control of my habits one day at a time. This is always a day-to-day endeavor. For today say something nice to yourself about how you look. And if you can afford a nice, new dress for an extra boost i say, “Go for it.”
Clothes are the first thing everybody sees and we all make judgments about others based on what they are wearing. So wearing something that looks good and makes us feel good is important. But there’s a massive difference between looking good and appreciating how a great outfit can contribute to that and totally buying into the idea that our value as human beings is contingent on how well we fit what others define as beautiful. In other words, let your clothing reflect your accomplishments, but don’t let how you look define how valuable those accomplishments are.
I love clothes and I use them the same way you do. I think if I get the right clothes then I’ll feel better about myself. When what I really need to do is not shop online while eating a bag of cheezy popcorn and then I could fit into the clothes that I have.
You should do the #MakeBetter challenge with us! I’m already feeling better.
I’m trying to keep up with yuo two with those. It sounds like I need a few more changes.
I think specifically for conventions I think harder about what I wear, because sometimes that can be an introduction piece. It can get someone to talk to you if they love your necklace, or your brand new pumps. I actually found two items I want to get for Vegas. I have a weird post coming soon, but I find I’m dressing up more pregnant than when I wasn’t and I just felt fat. Now I feel beautiful and sexy and want my clothes to represent that as well.
I know when I met you all I saw was your smile and your energy and I knew I had met someone pretty amazing.
Aaah.. and the love of Zelda that bound us together
New clothes always make me feel good, but I think feeling good in the inside lasts longer!
Definitely for me my confidence comes from inside not the clothes I wear. However, I’m usually shopping in advance for clothing and then end of wearing what I already have when I go to a conference. Go figure!
Ok, honestly? I have always thought you were super confident. You are beautiful inside and out, you know how to dress and wear makeup well. So this post surprised me… but I guess we all have confidence issues don’t we? We all question ourselves, do we look good? is this skirt my color? is my makeup good? is my lipstick smudged? how’s my hair? do I have something in my teeth? How do I walk up to a company and say I can represent you? I think confidence is something we have to work on internally, not on our clothes. Of course the clothes, accessories and makeup help still it is in our mind and hearts. We should feel confident because when we think it we send that message. Although when I feel most vulnerable is when I use that to push my confidence up.
I guess I fake it till I make it.
Here comes the truth. For the first time in my life, in more recent months, I have been really insecure about my clothing choices.
I was always so confident in the past. Perhaps it’s because I’m going to these blogging functions and seeing how others are dressed, and just feel my wardrobe never fits in anymore, and I just don’t have the “money” to make the wardrobe work. I’m really struggling with it.
I’m nervous about Vegas in a few weeks, no, I’m not going to go out and buy new clothes, as much as I’d like to, but I will be going through my closet and deciphering the perfect gear for that weekend. And I’m dreading the idea of what to wear for tomorrow already ;0
LA will do that to a girl. I’m a SoCal girl forever and I still get that when I head west.
Clothes help us to feel a bit more comfortable, i think. Which then leads to us feeling more confident! Great, thought provoking post! Hope you enjoy the SITS boot camp! I hear it was wonderful in Dallas!
-Simone
PS visiting you from SoCal Lady Bloggers!
I’m so with you on wanting new clothes for new occasions! I’ve been shopping for BBCLV too! Are you coming up with anything good? I always struggle with the cost of clothes. I know I should spend the money for quality clothing…but I can’t bring myself to do it! I’m always at the sale racks.
See you soon in LV! Cheers to shopping.