Hi there.

It’s been a while. Oh my goodness is SO been a while.

Not that anyone asked why wasn’t I writing anymore.

I sound defeatest but it’s completely true. Blogging had taken such a backseat in my life for a while when I skipped it for 2 1/2 months.

I had already decided I would own this space on my own and stop trying to profit from it financially. I mean, by sponsored posts and such. That’d had its own moment but I had gone back to reading some of the old blogs, and the ones that weren’t trying to milk their brand, and I was nostalgic for things like #wineparty and Twitter conversations and commenting.

 

So hi! It’s been a while.

 

Does the world have you down too?

The constant news cycle vibrating with passion and energy and radicalization and self-centeredness.

For a while, I was struggling. And feeling sorry for myself and even sorrier for my kids as I saw the chance of them seeing the world as I did as a child slipping away with every park ranger let go and climate change denier retweeted. I finished a job I hoped would give me a better chance at full time work and every request for a letter of recommendation or advice or a LinkedIn connection request landed on deaf ears. I found out I had high blood pressure and am hating this pill poppin’ new life while trying to figure out where it went wrong so quickly.

So yeah, its been months of just focusing on what was right in front of me.

My roots are long and I’ve been cooking a lot more than I was for months. Prepared food can be such a budget buster, and I also was grabbing fast food on the way in on my hour drive home.  I’m finding new work (I’ll be substitute teaching for my kids district come fall) as well as keeping with some freelance writing work.

I’ve also been doing a lot of parenting, obviously, diving back into the primary caretaker role and dealing with months of neglect around the house. Both boys pounded their way through an amazing season of baseball -my 8 year old is playing the championship game tonight! and he got so many A’s on his report card.

And my little guy graduated preschool.

He’s so big.

This is the summer of dealing with two kids, not a big one and a little one.

And refocusing, and budgeting, and hopefully Ill make it on here.

I keep fantasizing about having a blog where i talk real and deep but frankly, its hard for me to talk abut myself. Part of it is I can want to keep things private- part of me is, well, I don’t like pouring out my heart and not having it read.

So who knows.

As always, you’ll find me most on Instagram – I’m considering more microblogging there. I always enjoyed Shutterbean‘s style in this.

And how are you?