I’ve blogged since 2009, and a few months go I dug up the remnants of my old LiveJournal. Which reminded me of that random little website I had where I posted all of my sprites – remember when that was a thing? And I was all over the Star Wars prequels and… well, it was a time. And my chihuahua was a puppy training on a little carpet because she wouldn’t sit on cold floors.
I wasn’t a solid dairyist EVER. I remember my favorite diary with the pink paper and lock and it was only used a third through. I think the last tine I wrote in it was 4th grade.
But I loved to write, and take part in an online community. I did creative writing prompts, and a little fiction… A lot of that is lost here due to a save error, but I remember hopping from blog to blog reading what they were inspired to write.
When I started blogging again, it was when I was newly pregnant and doing the same thing all the other moms were doing, going to baby message boards and becoming obsessed with baby swings and bottles. You know, the usual. And slowly, as women were discussing their own pregnancies and making blogs for families to see, people started discovering they could get stuff free in exchange for reviews.
I had mostly started it to keep with my typing after walking away from my dream job, and also to share pregnancy fun with far-off family.
I was never a trailblazer – I admit, I am a complete follower and its been a treasure to watch women start empires by putting little pictures on a blog and tell their stories. I got introduced to more and more and my own net widened- I met so many awesome ladies Friday nights at #wineparty. And then met them in person at BlogHer 2011.
A LOT has changed since then.
I am realizing more and more how much the old blogging meant to me. My life was slower, that’s for sure, and I know I miss the ease of that time. I shared more personal stories and I had dropped that with Instagram miroblogging (I HATE the algorithm Instagram. Get it together and allow timeline based scrolling back)
I miss getting to let loose with my own emotions and letting that steer my writing, versus thinking about what will interest people most and bring them here. And I miss counting my worth by my words and not by my pageviews.
My most loyal reader read me because they love my writing. Not because they love my tips, or recipes (I have ONE) and this is something I have been pondering even as I realize I have not been letting my creative side thrive.
When I see bloggers wax nostalgic about the old days, full of community and conversation, and look back on all of the entrepreneurial ‘shoulds’ I have continually struggled at making here, I want to make changes.
I started by deleting 140 people off of my Facebook. A lot of them were bloggers that I realized I haven’t had relationships with in a long time except liking their posts on Facebook. I follow most on other social media so I’ll still be peeking, but it’s a step toward making social media work for ME again, instead of my blog.
I have been thinking about what to do with this space.The business of blogging is still creating itself and I just don’t want to play the algorithm game to bring people here. I miss comments. Remember those? Not just ‘great post’ or ‘love the tips’ but that honest reflection on good writing.
I miss writing well. I know some of my writing has struggled lately, and I know it’s because that bucket hasn’t been filled in a while. I had set goals for this space that have gone unfulfilled, so this is the chance to either recommit to that life and try again or set new goals of authenticity.
One of the ‘old school’ bloggers recently died, a lady I had only met once and didn’t really know but was much loved and respected. I am so happy to see her community rallying around her family.
Watching everyone remember the good old times and want to rekindle that, I realized I have the chance to start anew if I want and go back to the beginning, so to say. Many of those ladies no longer even blog, and that speaks something. The ones making money and life for themselves piggybacked off of some of these old-school bloggers who have walked away from the space, and maybe it needs a comeback.
Why did you start blogging?