At our community’s playground last week I sat with a neighbor hearing the ridiculously funny story about her trying to be cool while waiting for her son and accidentally standing in a pile of ants. Screaming “Son of a monkey!” apparently didn’t do her any credit to her social status where she already felt alienated by a group of moms that already knew each other a definitely had a different kind of culture about them.
My eldest’s first year, we didn’t make any friends at school. Well he did, everyday asking for another kids who I had no idea was to come over. But waiting for him outside of class, everyone was speaking Spanish or related or running up at the last moment.
It took kindergarten where similarly-aged kids created a gateway for mom friends and I now have actual conversations while waiting for the door to open.
It takes time, but now we parents are competing with box-tops and sharing funny memes on Facebook.
The hardest part of having mom friends in several cities and schools is that every year our kids are farther apart. Even though mine asks about them on odd days as we drive to the doctor or something, the larger tribe that moms build are ours.
Ultimately, no matter how close the ids are, they need their school tribe to happen. And hopefully, in some kind of middle school Venn Diagram, the lines will intersect and moms will get along as well.
It takes time, but it gets there.