2019

 

Hello 2019.

Hello, y’all.

 

I took a slow and relaxed start to the beginning of the year. I spent the two weeks before Christmas on everyone else’s schedule, then the week between Christmas and New Years with my brother staying at our house.

So it was until New Years Day when the dust began to settle. I began to catch up on my sleep and give my liver a little break, then started pondering the new year and all of the things I’d hope to improve upon.

I wanted to eat better, all those leafy greens and pulses and Mediterranean diet I started to follow months ago and fell off the wagon of.   I wanted to start doing yoga again, and drink a lot more water and tea than coffee and wine.

I wanted more writing work to supplement the substitute teaching income- or more substitute teaching to supplement the writing. Right now dependency on either is strong for me, but they also get in the way of each other since my child-free hours are during one’s work hours and I can’t work late at night like I used to anymore. Either way, more income.

I wanted to do more things with the boys, and go on a couple day trips that have been put on hold for the last couple of years. My youngest is finally slowing down and I feel comfortable actually taking him places without constantly taking things away, yelling, or chasing after him.

I wanted date nights, those elusive sans-children events that don’t happen very often at all right now, and I feel the void accompanied by that space.

I always enjoy picking a word instead of a firm resolution, since I tend to rail against rigid resolutions and fail before January is over. But that’s the struggle, right?  One word where any push forward, pounds lost, words paid for and rounds of poker played. (Yep, the new family habit is now teaching the children to gamble.)

It took several days to figure out a word, but I did.

One of our long-standing traditions is to not bring presents for certain kids birthdays. It was easier when they were toddlers and didn’t notice, but with those friends we remind them that the party is part of their present from us and their friends’ presence is present enough.

So this year’s word is Presence.

Whatever I am doing, I will try to give it better attention.

My relationships, my family, my cooking, writing and whatever hobbies I had before I’ve dropped along the way.

My present to myself.